Everyone loves to be loved. I am no exception. Sometimes, when you least expect it, things happens. I am a believer of karma and I believed I have been a good boy. Even though santa claus didnt appear in the form of Leah in a skimpy top, I still got my christmas present in the end. I would never have expected me to love someone and be loved in return. Actually, I thought I was incapable of loving anyone else after the stints with my ex and the few after that. Then she came along, everything seemed so right. Even though, things have not been plain sailing, we managed to work things out. There were times I thought I could do without her but without her I got lost. And so I commited myself to the trials and tribulation of a relationship. Never have I felt this way about someone and I am glad I get to feel this way. Like many things in life, love does not come easy. I believe in working for what I want and I want happiness and I am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that.

When I am troubled, her smile brings me hope. When I am happy, her presence around me intensifies the feeling of happiness. Feelings of happiness became feelings of ecstasy.

Work on the other hand has not been smooth. I believed I have worked hard but things do not turn out the way I want it to be. I believed work is work and you do not mix work with pleasure. However, I have been thinking about this concept and whether it does work. I just received feedback today that I am not exactly popular on the ship because I keep demanding standards from the men. Is it wrong to demand standards? Is it wrong to ask for more? Should I be like some of my superiors who cannot be bothered to do stuff and cannot be bothered to discipline the men? I am really quite sad. I have always believed that leadership is not a popularity contest but I have always believed someone would understand how I feel. Now, I think I should reconsider my own leadership management style. Oh well, its a learning experience.

I fall but I do not stay fallen. With each time I fall I rise up; better and more able to rise to the occasion.