Closure

I was looking up on some self reflection techniques and I happened to come across the Naikan technique: http://www.todoinstitute.org/naikan.html

It is a form of self awareness technique from Japan. Spending like 30 mins in the bath tub I started to question why was I so affected by Faith. Why did I close up? Was she the cause of my rage? Partly, yes but I think its something else. Something that is buried in the subconscious. The brain always tries to take the easiest way out; it doesnt like to work to hard. Maybe its just my brain. Anyway, after pondering I realised that I needed closure from my previous relationship of 6.5 years. I thought I wasnt affected at all and I could graciously walk away like nothing happened. Why did I think closure? Well, I have to thank Adz for this. A few weeks ago, she was telling me to have a closure with Faith and I thought:" What was there to close? How important can it be? Just move on." 2 plus 2 often gives 4. In the case of the human brain, it is so wonderous that 2 plus 2 gives 5. The additional 1 came from the synergy of ideas. I once read that forgiveness is the best way to let go. I used to think otherwise but on this night, the 26th of April 2006. I forgave and truly for once in a very long time I feel pounds lighter, not off my waist but off my shoulder. And so I wrote an email to my ex telling her that I forgave her and I sincerely hope that she will have a great life (even though a part of me says otherwise =P). But all in all, it feels good to be so gracious and wish her well. It not exactly the greatess thing to be talking about but I think its a milestone for me. ^_^

On another note, I am kinda worried about home. My sister has not been online for like weeks and I wonder what is going on. I think I better call home tomorrow. Meanwhile, I need to carry on working on my dissertation. =.="